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The Bob's Blog
(thoughts from
an
interesting mind) |
4/01/06 In the R Wing day room, a patient said: "I'm gonna be on tv one day." Schizo Bob said: "I'm gonna be on tv now," as he unscrewed the back end of the old set and crawled inside. Well, as it turned out, the news-minded patients didn't like him on the R Wing news channel, standing next to Bin Laden. They thought he was a distraction from Bin Laden's vocal ramblings. So, they turned the channel just before Bob named his location. They knew enough not to turn to the Andy Griffith Show on TV Land, because they recalled Bob saying that he is Aunt Bee's lover in reruns. So, on to The Cartoon Network, where Bob told Fred Flintstone that he and Wilma were doing plenty of bed rocking and she said: "Fred just yabba dabba didn't turn me on anymore." 3/29/06 I missed the bus in a sheep's skinned lined leather jacket that wouldn't keep out the cold. And I could understand, because my spring jacket wouldn't keep out the cold either and that leather jacket was just too damn small to cover the bus up. So, catching up to it, I switched that jacket with my own size large to at least cover the cold bus. 3/26/06 While dreaming of the merry old land of Oz, the schizo standup comic got on stage, unzipped his pants and performed before - or - rather above an audience of crabs. He got ho-ho-ho's, ha-ha-ha's, but no couple of tra-la-la's. So, he whistled down "doe, a deer," to be told "Maria's crabs aren't here." And he said "oops, wrong tune, bite me later. Ta ta." 3/25/06 "I want to report an armed robbery." Schizo armed robber unzipped his pants and he held himself up. And afterward, he called the police and when they arrived they asked, "what happened and where did he go?" Schizo said: "when I told him that I was broke, he gave me a hard time and then he shot at me. Then he went straight down." As he unzipped his pants again, "there he is officers, arrest him." |
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